Fear of the StarCrunch...

Time to get serious- well, not really but kinda. I have a serious phobia. Not of heights, clowns or mice BUT of... washing my Peppermint Pattie to find that a sexual experience has turned my puddy cup into a damn STARCRUNCH!



The 25 cent delectable school treat with its creamy chocolate covered cluster exterior is reminiscent of a STD infected snatch. I saw a video during an Anatomy class in undergrad of a woman in her mid 20's with a BAD case of herpes or warts. I cant remember exactly but I do know it reminded me of my old after-school snack and I haven't eaten one since.



I am proud to say that I have NEVER had a STD. NEVER! The thought of getting some sort of coochie infection is probably my worst fear. I kid you not. Not too long ago, someone that I used to deal with told me that he had a contracted and treated a STD a long time ago (before he met me) and I damn near hyperventilated. I'd rather lose an arm than walk around with some incurable disease that would make my snatch look like it was attacked by termites.



With that being said, I urge all you grown folks out there to please get tested and do your routine check ups to make sure the privates are up to par. Some diseases show no visible signs of infection but can be life threatening- such as AIDS. It may not look like a StarCrunch or Crunchbar now but that doesn't mean the goods are "good".