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Thursday, July 1, 2010

It IS a SMALL world after all....

I've been having a serious case of bloggers block... OK, I'm lying. I've just been lazy as shit. Today was no different and I had no intentions on posting my blogs on my teenage hoodrat shit or plus-sizedness simply because of lack of motivation. Then a wonderful thing happened!


I'm sitting at my desk and I see my Gmail account flashing to let me know I have new mail. I clicked the link and saw a name I didn't recognize but a blogger name that I did. I'm like a kid at Christmas when it comes to texts, emails, phone calls... pretty much anything that lets me know that someone wants to talk to me. wow, i cant believe i just admitted that.



Anyway, I read the email that said:




Was going through my vacation pics and thought you'd like these 2 pictures.
Along with the "khaki, does it really taste like v8 splash?" emails, I get these messages all the time from readers and commenters that know I'm appreciative of any fuckery but this one was special and needed to be posted because... well... look at the pics and you'll know why. If you don't why my endorphins started to go out of control causing me to feel all gay inside, then you don't know me and should refer to the tags.









My heart smiled and I laughed so hard as I saw this little blessing in her mono-kini and borderline pregnant gut and drumstick legs not giving a damn about her stature. Then... I squint my eyes and I'm thinking to myself "Damn, that sort of looks like Shortie". Of course, I couldn't see her face but it cant be that many cocky, black 3 footers with that build walking around. So I text my "uncle" and ask him if he's spoken to Shortie lately and he tells me that he hasn't because the last time they spoke she gave him an attitude and called him a "triflin fag" before hanging up on him.



sidebar: See why I wanted to hide her grabbers from her? She's straight rude for no reason. She get all types of government assistance, midget scholarships, has one of those adaptive cars with the post office truck gear shift, and acts like the world owes her something because her mother did crack and her daddy stuttered causing her pollypocketness. Bitch please! I don't go to pity parties because I don't have shit to wear. Fuck outta here with the woe is me- why don't you have a step stool if you knew i was coming?- you think I can try out for Americas Next Top Model petite edition?- none of my shoes have high heels bullshit. Waaah fucking Waaah! Embrace your midgetnism that gave you that donk! Some folks eat 423 biscuits a year just to get a speedbump and you were... Let me compose myself.... :breathe:



Anyway, I send the pics to my uncle and an hour or so later he texts me back "Yup, Kita said that's her. Where you find those pix? 'Elves gone Wild'?".



Holy Midgets Batman!


I haven't been this excited since the last Good Times marathon. Thanks again Kingsmomma for making my Thursday!

11 comments:

Gia said...

damn i've missed you..smh

Kingsmomma said...

Even more priceless was the comments this got on my FB...
someone said
"awww baby legs"

i can attest that she most definitely enjoyed that vacation. Soo angry my camera dropped in the water or else you would have had her duet with teh stripper.

Miss.Stefanie said...

This post made smile!

Krissy said...

lmaooo@ ur entire fucking sidebar! iCant! I just cant! lmao

NC17 said...

mmmm midget donk....

Eyes on the Prize said...

Ok wassup with that midget scholarship though?

Gurl bye!

LMAO!!!!

princessvalecia said...

I laughed for 10 good minutes...

Enigma Jones said...

Um....they have midget scholarships???? Bwahahahahahah! Bless her wittle heart....

Frankie said...

LMFAO! Love the side bar!!
I, too, have a midget obsession. Can you believe there are people in this world who have NEVER seen midgets in real life?? SMH

khaki la'docker said...

@Gia- GIA!!!!!!!!!!! Where have you been? I thought you stopped blogging til I clicked the link and saw you just changed the link address. How bout not doing that without letting me know??? <_<

@KingMomma- you just have no idea how much your email has affected my life! baby legs, though? LMAO

@Eyes and Enigma- I dont know if it was a midget scholarship per se- but I do know that it was because of a deformity or something. I dont think being smaller than 98% if the world is a deformity :gary coleman face: I just dont like that chick- fam or no fam.

@Frankie: FRAAANNNKKKAAAYYYY! those folks just dont know what their missing.

♥Peace.LoVe.Curls.♥ said...

aww, her so wittle...{baby voice}...

Absolutely DIED @ "pollypocketness" lmfaooo.

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