I've been having a serious case of bloggers block... OK, I'm lying. I've just been lazy as shit. Today was no different and I had no intentions on posting my blogs on my teenage hoodrat shit or plus-sizedness simply because of lack of motivation. Then a wonderful thing happened!
I'm sitting at my desk and I see my Gmail account flashing to let me know I have new mail. I clicked the link and saw a name I didn't recognize but a blogger name that I did. I'm like a kid at Christmas when it comes to texts, emails, phone calls... pretty much anything that lets me know that someone wants to talk to me. wow, i cant believe i just admitted that.
Anyway, I read the email that said:
My heart smiled and I laughed so hard as I saw this little blessing in her mono-kini and borderline pregnant gut and drumstick legs not giving a damn about her stature. Then... I squint my eyes and I'm thinking to myself "Damn, that sort of looks like Shortie". Of course, I couldn't see her face but it cant be that many cocky, black 3 footers with that build walking around. So I text my "uncle" and ask him if he's spoken to Shortie lately and he tells me that he hasn't because the last time they spoke she gave him an attitude and called him a "triflin fag" before hanging up on him.
sidebar: See why I wanted to hide her grabbers from her? She's straight rude for no reason. She get all types of government assistance, midget scholarships, has one of those adaptive cars with the post office truck gear shift, and acts like the world owes her something because her mother did crack and her daddy stuttered causing her pollypocketness. Bitch please! I don't go to pity parties because I don't have shit to wear. Fuck outta here with the woe is me- why don't you have a step stool if you knew i was coming?- you think I can try out for Americas Next Top Model petite edition?- none of my shoes have high heels bullshit. Waaah fucking Waaah! Embrace your midgetnism that gave you that donk! Some folks eat 423 biscuits a year just to get a speedbump and you were... Let me compose myself.... :breathe:
Anyway, I send the pics to my uncle and an hour or so later he texts me back "Yup, Kita said that's her. Where you find those pix? 'Elves gone Wild'?".