Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I squirt...

Get your minds out of the gutter! I'm talking about cream cheese!

I live in my car! On any given day you can find shoes, CDs, food, trash, water bottles, toys... you name it, I got it. I left cream cheese over Squints house a couple of weeks ago. It had been there for over a week and I went to his house to get it. So i put in my car- on my side door- and it stayed there for... I don't know... a week or two. So, on mothers day I drop off my home girl who decides that she wants to clean out "some" of the trash that was in my car... including the old ass smelly ass cream cheese.

Meia throws out a bunch of shit... cups, McDonald's bag and the cream cheese. I pull out and hear a pop but pay it no mind thinking that I just ran over a cup or something. Then I hear a man scream "What the FUCK?!?!?"

Apparently, some homeless/transient/junkie/feign/crackhead dude got splattered with the cream cheese and was livid. The cream cheese had a faint smell of dumpster from the package so I could imagine what the hell it smelled like after it had been opened.

Me, oblivious to what happened, continues on my merry way.

Tameia calls me laughing so hard that she could barely breath. I ask her whats so funny and she tells me what happened and goes on to say that the man yelled at me driving away like "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" while he was in the street. She said that the man walked past her and tried to wipe off he old cream cheese but it kept smearing all over his black plants.

So... the feign looked at Tameia and said "Why the fuck are you laughing? I saw you throw that nasty ass shit out of her car! What the fuck is this shit?!?!? Man... I'm on my way to see my momma and I got all of this shit on me!". the man continued to curse me and Tameia while he walked home smelling like sour ass cream cheese.

Where the fuck is a camera when you need one?


simone_dior said...


Strongblkwmn said...

That is hilarious!

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