Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Friends? How many of us have them!!??!?!

There’s a commonality amongst black women and that’s that we don’t effing get along. We don’t walk in the mall holding hands or kiss each other when we depart. None of that Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie shit. If we didn’t meet a woman at work, school or around the way, we aint friends. I meet a lot of women and they agree that they don’t and refuse to not deal with many women- for pretty much the same  reasons… attitudes.

I, for one, am one of those “I don’t fuck with bitches” typa women. Now, you all out there in virtual friendland are the shit but the truth of the matter is that women like you come far and between. There are a lot of grown up women that still act like children. There are a lot of grown ass women that get emotional, throw bitch fits, and will stab you in the back with no hesitation. I know women that will fuck her friend’s man in a heartbeat. For those and many other reasons, I keep my female friends list down to the bare minimum- 2 maybe 3.

I’m OK with the few female friends that I have and I love them to death. I treat them all the same and I respect them as though they are one of my sisters. We have great conversations and even if we don’t agree with one another, we respect each other and the choices that we make.

BUT, here’s the kicker, every once in a while, you’ll get tricked into thinking that you have a friend but, oh no, it’s just a bitch with a costume on. I can not deal with phoniness, sensitivity and emotions. Save that shit for your boyfriend.

I’m a guy with tits and a dress and this becomes a problem when you’re friends with a female. I don’t pick fights and I rarely discuss my feelings with a female. The women that I consider my sisters and real friends know this and that’s why we have a wonderful sisterhood… we have an understanding. There’s no trying to change one another. We accept each other for who they are. For instance, I’m a good friend… you need me for money- I’m there. You need me to kick someone ass- I’m down BUT I can be sarcastic… and my sense of humor may be a bit ignorant… but does that make me a bad friend? If it does, then fuck me; I’m just a bad friend and I can live with that. I can’t live with altering my identity to appease a bitch because she’s not happy with herself or has some sort of personality disorder. I get along with men because I act like a man… point blank.

When I sit back and wonder why I am able to get along with all of these wonderful women online but limit my friendships with women in real life, I come up with no real reason why. Maybe it’s the fact that you haven’t met me in person so you know that I’m being all me and you wont take things so personal???

I’ve factored in the attitudes, the neediness, the phoniness, periodic bouts of jealousy and all the other bullshit that comes along with being a BFF to a black woman and I’ve come to the conclusion that life is too short to be worrying about women that arent worth the worry. Fortunately for me, that’s just one less Christmas gift I have to buy.

So, let’s open this shit up for discussion. Women, do you have many female friends? Why or why not? What do you think about this?


Kim said...

I agree with this post 100%
I don't have many female friends. And with that said I don't actually have "friends" more like associates. I think the reason why I don't too much deal with them on a friendship level is because I find it hard to completely trust women. I know it sounds kinda strange, but put it this way: if me and another female were really good friends. We tell each other really deep and personal things, then all of a sudden the friendship ends bitterly. That just gives the other person ammunition to talk shit about me and I'm not up for that.
Most females are very catty and can do serious damage when certain information is given to them.

Good post.

Briiii_theMoonWillow said...

Make friends with white girls?

Ok ok I'm kidding on that one. Actually, I'm with you on this one. Had to learn that junk the hard way too. Except sometimes it kind of bothers me that I don't have many female friends. I've been out of school this whole year though, and that's the only place I choose to meet people but when I go back I know its going to be the same thing. Just drama and bullshit. I decided I was going to try and make friends with some, but not on a deep level. I'm not tryna get close to anybody, you know? This post was real though. Glad I'm not the only one that feels that way. ITs just a freakin trip lol.... To answer your question, no I don't have many females friends. Why. Number one, I've been out this whole year and lost contact with almost everybody - just got back in touch though - and number two... for all of the reasons you've posted...its just too much drama for people that don't mean shit to me. Drama doesn't come like that too much from men unless he's one of those gossip sehctib <==== that word is backwards... Also, I agree with the girl who commented ahead of me.. a lot of women are just catty. You give em the information they want and they just mess you up. Its happened too many times. That's why I don't even like answering peoples questions, and I'm not going to when I get back either. It'll be at a bare minimum >.> (i dun even know if i said that right) And the bad thing about it is that, its heightened at this age I am right now.. it wasn't that bad before lol. And now I'm coming to the shocking realization that its not just this age... this shit just doesn't stop. Normal* people are just so few and far between. Its a please to finally find some, you know? Whereas everyone else I meet is just all the same. Different wrapping but all the same candy. :S

* What defines normal these days anyway? When the majority of people are catty and ignorant, and a bunch of other things... they are all the same... so would that make them the normals and people who share this feeling you've talked about and others like it, the abnormals? what do you think about that?

StarrBURST! said...

I don't particularly like hanging with a summer camp of women. My circle of TRUE female friends is very small. I can count them on one hand. They are the ones who I know will have my back despite what may come. They've been there through thick and thin. We don't always agree about some things but we support in spite of. Why some women are SO envious, spiteful, deceitful and hateful, the world may never know. I thank God for the ride or dies that I do have because they come a dime a dozen. You have to be extra careful who you call your friend. Everyone isn't worthy of such a title.

I was wondering where you disappeared to. Welcome back!

sunshinestar110 said...

I don't really get down with many females for some the same reasons that u don't. I have maybe 3 friends at the max. I've been through hell and high water with them and they always have had my back. I tend to share better friendships with Men. I grew up being the only girl with a group of boys on my block so I find my self as being one of the guys. Plus, they come across much more loyal and trust worthy and That's what I need. Back in the day I had a herd of female friends but you live and you learn!! I've learned that they all can't be trusted so I'll keep my lil friend circle to myself!

Anonymous said...

DAMN some of these comments are hella long. Anywho I LOVE your fucking blog to ittty bittty pieces, u speak nothing BUT true shit. I personally do not have many female friends, its just too much drama that comes w being friends w females honestly. First off I have a BIG issue w trust, its hard for me to trust a lot of ppl. if i dont know u i do not fuck w u nor consider u to be a friend. i probably on have 2 or 3 good friends, those are the bitches that are always there for me & the same bitches that i can confide in. shit gets really crazy when it comes to female being friends. ive been the female to consider a bitch my friend & as soon as i do or same somethign that they dont like they they stab me in the bk. i knw u remember reading my blog about the bitch that wouldnt stop emailing me, her ass. after the incident between her & i, i looked @ my relationship w females totally different from that point. ( i got more shit to say but im @ wrk now, nosy ppl all over my shoulder) BE BACK LATER to comment more.

Anonymous said...

& i noticed what u said. u said something like how is i can get along w females on social netwrking sites but not in real life. i ask myself that a bunch of times, especially when im reading some of my fave blogs. im like these really seem like cool dwn to earth bishes that i would actually get along w......shits crazy!!!

Blackbutterfly said...

I get what you are saying...I wouldn't necessarily say I get on better with men. It also that gets on my nerves when females state that.

Someone I know goes on about how she doesn't trust females and prefers to keep male friends blah blah. The reality of it is is that she is the first girl to try shit with a next girls man even ones she will say are her "best friends". She tried it on with a friend of mines man numerous times....The reason she doesn't trust females is because she judges them by her own standard because she knows what she is like.
Plus the men she says are her friends are in fact men she is f**king or has f**cked. So please tell me how does that make him your friend!

Yes I agree that females are bitchy, backstabbing, jealous etc. I have a "friend" who I don't trust anymore with my business. I only tell her the bare minimum. She gossips constantly about suddenly dawned on me one day if she can talk about her so called BFF personal business i.e. who she is sleeping with. Then why would she not chat mine? Also she talks about me behind my back.

Plus what is up with some females and them hanging around with girls who they deem less attractive i.e not a threat to them...

I don't keep many friends in general male or female as I like to keep myself to myself.
Plus I am very private and like you I don't talk about my feelings and emotions for hours on end like some people.

Briiii_theMoonWillow said...

@blackbutterfly your first paragraph made me realize we're all doing a load of generalizations in here... like because your one friend says she doesn't trust females but she'll go and get down with their men...not everybody is going to do that... because thats just stank and messed up, but just the same it made me realize not ALL females are catty, jealous, and tryna start drama with folks. tehre sure is a good amount though >.>... and about what you said later in your comment - "Plus what is up with some females and them hanging around with girls who they deem less attractive i.e not a threat to them..." - is all insecurities..

lalaliybean said...

I have a pocketful of "girls" I try not to throw that friend word around too much because it can me misconstrued. I have about 5 real friends and then, to narrow it even further, I have one "real friend" and even she's slippin at the moment. Point is, whatever term you use to describe someone that you kick it with, a grown woman should know who she can and cannot divulge in certain secrets and activities with, and that's that. You can throw any word on someone but whether that person lives up to that name is up to them so in order to avoid all the confusion, let downs, bullshit, and backstabbing, it's best to keep all your business to yourself and keep it moving.. That's how I see it.

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