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Monday, August 31, 2009

That French Shit...

Standing in line waiting to purchase a few items at Wal-Mart, I took notice of a woman in her mid 20's with a cart full of feminine hygiene products. I mean... the cart had some of that french shit (dou 'che), Summer's Eve powder, FDS spray, some Norforms... etc. I started to question how someone's sippy cup could be so stank that they would raid the feminine aisle of Wal-Mart at 4pm on a Sunday and load up on everything pussy related? As I got closer to the woman, the smell of something related to Nemo took over all my senses... my eyes started to water, I swear I was hearing "under the sea", the smell even overcame my sense of taste and I then began to question if i'd just ate a ghetto fried fish sandwich with extra tartar sauce.


I look at the cart... I look at the woman. I look at the Monistat... I look at the woman with her black leggings on and off the hanger shoes and came to the realization...


That shorty was living foul!


Chick, you a grown ass woman and you don't know that all of that will mess up yo PH balance. Do you not know that if yo sammich smell like sewer sludge that you should make a trip to the gyno? Sad part of this whole thing is there are men busting that puddy up on the regular and they could be busting other puddy up on the regular too spreading all types of sludge to the masses.


I swear I cant stand the stench of 3 day old pussy. I shouldn't be able to smell yo Kit Kat through yo jeans... and covering it up with Funky Dirty Snapper spray is not helping yo situation at all. You maximizing yo odor with that shit... flowery fish is a no, no. Put some Old Bay on that crabby patty and stop fucking up the ozone layer.



Rant over.

23 comments:

MISS BEE said...

lmao omg. that shit is serious. yea i agree that bitch was in the wrong damn line, she should have been @ the gyno office. smh. i wonder wtf was going on w her? then u said she had on some leggins #GROSS.

☆Reese✮ said...

I wanna fight you so bad for making me laugh AND frown my face up at the same damn time. Ah shit, the fuck was going on in her life!!

Ugh.

Epitome said...

Fucking LMAOOOOOOOOO!!!! You should have tapped that ho on the shoulder and tell her "all of dat dere...." *motion at cart* "ain't gonna fix your problem boo boo...and neither are them lycra leggings."

I would have wrote her stank cooch ass a prescription for a gyno visit and some cotton panties.

OMGits stacie said...

lol. thats not funny. the fact that we can't make it to they gyno when our punny is a lil less than fresh just reassures you of our failing economy. we aint got no healthcare. =T. lmao. ur too funny.

SOmEtHiN lOvElY said...

lmfao..that shit is nasty!!! ew!!! yea she need a gnyo trip real quick..i would be more than happy to start a "help kitty from not smellin fishy" charity cuz there are just some women who need help

khaki said...

@omg.... now u can't go cryin recession on this one. Stank pussy preceded the recession and will be here after the economy gets better.

Its just a bad case of not knowing how to take care of ur body. U kno black folks always tryna diagnose themselves.

I will not blame Bush on this one... well not that bush.

(vixenchick) said...

lmao! that is nasty....nuh uh. homegirl needs to hit the gyno: quick, fast, and in a hurry.

xoxo

vixen

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

LMFAO. I'm dead and gone at this! For shame, for shame to this damn girl. I'm glad I didn't read this at the job because I probably would've been fired for laughing so damn loud!

NINA said...

I HAVE OFFICALLY DIED **SMASHES LAPTOP INTO PIECES** HOW THE FUCK DARE SHE!! SHE NEEDS TO BE UP IN THR GYNO ASAP! THEM ITEMS WILL NOT HELP HER SHE PROBABLY HAS A STD OR SOME TYPE OF INFECTION GROSS..AND I LOVE ALL YOUR CHOICE OF WORDS DOPE!

» Gia said...

soap & water is SOOO much less expensive

simone_dior said...

dammit to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
girl you just killt me up in here.
you should have made a citizens arrest on that nasty trollop. on second thought, maybe not.. cause you woulda passed out in the process. i just can't...
*runs out of the room*

sunshinestar110 said...

LMAO...Why do i hate choo so much!!!! that shit there is serious maybe we should make an PSA so women living foul know what they need to do and another PSA for those triflen ass men who are straight diggin them out....nasty asses!

khaki said...

Gia!!!! Simone!!!!
where da fuck yall been hiding????

Krissy said...

Yea sounds like she needs to wash up! Set her ass down in a hot tub with baking soda and no bubble and let it clean her cooch. Now the summers eve might help with any lingering odor but hell she might have fucked up at some point in her hygiene process and left a tampon in there( true story, I've known it to happen in the ER, broad thought was havin issues but she really just had a old moldy tampon in her cooch she never took out that caused her to smell like she overdosed on death!) Women just have to be more aware of their bodies and how to take care of ourselves. A vaginal infection and lead to much worse things.

MISS BEE said...

@krissy omg did we just read the same post. that bish needed more than to wash up. the way khaki described that odor, it could not @ all be cured or helped by soap & water. that bish got an internal problem or something going on. thats not norm.

E's said...

There's an epidemic of smelly cooches...I'm glad you ladies are addressing the matter. And men do talk. Actually, I don't stand for a smelly "box" (as you say)...work those jaw muscles. LOL

Ms. T said...

This was good post.

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www.avalleyofhearts.blogspot.com

Thank you
Ms. T

dearly beloved. said...

u know what.. i had a bunch to say after reading this shit... but after reading certain comments.. icant.

hoe ass trick is working my nerves!

khaki said...

@ dearly beloved... mam, u got sumpin u wanna gt off ya chest? Lmao... not sure what's going on but.... x_x <-------- i's dead.

Krissy said...

lol@miss bee, Not JUST soap and water. But that would be a good start. From reading it, it doesn't sound like she even washing up much, she might wanna work on that before she starts using all that crap in her lady area.

Melanie! said...

lmaoooooooo

lalaliybean said...

lmfao, i'm through with you for this post.

Lady Dee said...

Thats just nasty. You got my face all twisted in disgust. Lol. How could she let it get that bad? When you start smelling urself its too late! :(

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