Tuesday, April 7, 2009

10 Commandments to the Club

I've mentioned a club commandment before but thought it would make more sense to comprise the whole list so that the world can be knowledgeable of the Do's and Dont's when frequenting the nightclub scene. I will start off with 10 but I'm sure the list will grow as I club more.

and here it goes...

10. Thou shall not rocketh thy same outfit two weeks in a row for some people club every week and will notice the gold leggings and hot pink tube top combo.

9. Thou shall not make an ass out of thy self in the club by fighting. You look stupid, may end up in jail and waste the money you spent just to get drunk and locked up.

8. Thou shall pay 5.00 to place coat and jackets with coat check. Club gods look down on folks doing the percolator wearing First Downs or girls standing against the wall holding their friends shit.

7. Thou shall wear club-proof hairstyles for thy will look stupid with a frizzy bob. Should thy not want to perm thy edges, thou shall submit to bunning up thy hair.

6. Thou without VIP status should not stand in line and hate on thy with VIP pass. Thy should just stand in line, pretend to not be bothered and wait until thou is asked for ID and money.

5. Thou dude that wants to get with thy chick should not get upset nor throw bitch fits when thy passes on your advances. Thou should just walketh away before thou is stripped of thy dignity.

4. Thou shall not try to smuggle gum into the club for thou will look dumb and embarrassed when the bouncer calls you out and throws your shit away. Thy being so pressed to bring gum will make others think you have a serious case of halitosis. Thy should invest in a good ole pack of peppermint or remember to Listerine it up before leaving the house.There is no subsitution for brushing teeth... the Orbit man lied to you.

3. Thou shall not guard thy dick that is not thy's man for thy shall be called thirsty and given thy mean mug for the rest of the night.

2. Thou shall not pretendeth to be a baller when thy is on unemployment for thy knock off Gucci sneakers and Louie Viutton bag will be a dead give away and you will be laughed at. Thy should just acknowledge and accept that the most that you can afford is H&M and move the fucketh on.

1. Thou shall have fun regardless of how wack the club is even if thou has to make up games like Swaggenger Hunt. No one wants to hang around someone that bitches about how wack the club is...


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