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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Top 5 Reasons to Wear A Condom


Besides the obvious reasons- unwanted pregnancies, case of sick dick or coughing coochie, AIDS, herpes, and all those other STD's out there rapidly attacking the genitals, mouths and asses (if you into it)- there are 5 main reasons why you should always rock a latex. Check em below...


BUT BEFORE YOU DO...

Please note: Khaki fully supports wearing a condom to control unwanted pregnancies, STD's/STI's, trips to the abortion clinics and fully advise every one- especially women- to develop a quarterly, yearly, monthly or once every 2 months(if you're anal like me) Genital Maintenance Plan to include testing and swabbing of one's cervix. Choose your sexual partners wisely and be careful.


  1. The Wet Spot: No one likes sleeping in the wet spot. Trust me- I almost lost an eye trying to hurry and switch sides of the bed just so I wouldn't have to lay in me and my other's bodily fluids. If you wear a condom, the chances of the wet spot being a damn puddle are slim to none unless the girl's a squirter and then it's her fault and she should have to sleep in the wet spot by default. Also keep in mind that the wet spot eventually dries up and becomes a crusty cess pool of woulda been babies and fertilized embryo's and it looks nauseating on darker colored sheets.
  2. The A-Choo Effect: Gravity is a bitch when it comes to latexless sex. Imagine being a girl and going to work the next day and needing to sneeze. When you do, you feel all of the remnants of last night or this morning (if you like your dick with coffee and a bacon egg and cheese biscuit) splash in your panties. The A-Choo Effect is a bitch and it's nasty as hell. It doesn't matter how long you wash your ass or sit in a bath tub, semen has to make its way down the tunnel of love and sometimes it likes to take its time. If you want to rush the semen, you could always use that french shit- Dou'che- but any gyno would tell you excessive use of the vinny/water spray is a no no.
  3. Don't mix juices: Nut and cootie juice mixed together smells like boiled ass. I don't know why and it doesn't matter how clean a person is... the concoction of the two fluids smells f-ing weird. Something about the Ph-balance and something of the whatchamallit make the smell is little tart (<---- look it up). I don't know the scientific reason behind it and I cant remember where I heard it from but I will say that my vag does not smell like the room that I leave when I fuck raw.
  4. What goes up: This goes back to the gravity thing. Almost immediately after sex or after you wake up from your sleep, the mixture will come a running down your leg. The off white, musty smelling, wet, sloppy ass potion of love will flow down your leg like piss. You could always sleep with a towel in between your legs but again, whatever is still floating up that 9 inch canal will soon make its way out and down your leg.
  5. No Do-Overs: Say ole boy nuts but you haven't and you still want to fuck. Do you really want him to go back and eat your semen saturated cootie then kiss you???? No. One could say "Well, he aint gotta eat my cootie" and I would tell that person to shut the fuck up. If he's a great fucker and he nuts, he will want to redeem himself. No self respecting man would attempt to go back in with a soft dick. A great fucker wouldn't even let you know that they nutted prematurely! They would pull out and eat your box (or ass if you like that type of thing) until you came or until they could get hard again.

5 comments:

NightFall914 said...

........appetite gone.

khaki said...

Oh no! My bad.... just tellin it like it is.

K. Michel said...

I only need one reason to wear one, Miss Khaki... now I realize that my place isn't the spot for this.

Frankie Nichelle said...

CHURCH!!!!!!!

it really only takes ONE of these incidents to make you wanna wrap it up.

MISS BEE said...

I heart bloggers that keep it real. Everything you said in this post was SO TRUE word for word.

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