Excuses to get out of Anal

.....
Babe, it'll make your skin glow and get rid of all adult acne...
I know but it will make your dick small.

Babe, it'll be pleasurable for both of us.
No, not really because I'll make sure to ruin it by making noises similar to that of a wild boar being chased by a lion

Honey, it'll hurt at first but then it'll feel better
You think so? Will it be better after i shit all over your fuck stick?

Babe, it'll make your hair grow longer.
And there will be a bald spot in your pubes from either (A) my ass clamping on them as you ass rape me and i attempt to run away or (B) de-tangling shit from your lovely pubic hair with a rat tail comb.

Sweetheart, don't you love me?
I love my ass and the ability to hold my shit when i want to more.

If none of those work... I'll hit him with the whammy!

Babe, let me do it this one time... and I'll do whatever you want.
Okay... I'll do it BUT I get to stick something the size of your dick in your funhole... only one time.

You think you're gonna do it but want to put it off????

I would love to but...

I ate Chipotle today

My doctor said i should wait until my iron levels go up

Baby, I'm backed up like I-95 at 5:30... let me take these Fiber pills and get back to you.

I have to wear all white tomorrow