Monday, November 9, 2009

End of Days: High-heeled Sneakers

They had their run in the early nineties with the canvas chunky heeled, squared toe style and then re-vamped around 2000 in the style of Air Force Ones. Almost ten years later, the high-heeled sneaker has re-emerged in the style of the classic sneaker... the Air Jordan.

I SWEAR on all things good in life that I hate, yes HATE, the high-heeled sneaker. These are the "hoodrats" of footwear and there is nothing cute, sexy, stylish, classy or fashionable about them yet they seem to make their way back to the streets every 10 years or so.

My deep hatred comes from an experience about 10 years ago. It was 1999 and I was beginning my freshman year at Western High School. After years of being a borderline chubby tomboy, wearing baggy khaki's and polo-styled shoes (it was my uniform), the summer after graduating middle school had changed me into this new found hottie with a new body. Ya know how you go on summer vacation as an awkward teen and come back finer than silk?

Anyway, my grandmother was never one to shop or buy anything for us so when she called me and asked what I wanted her to buy me for school, I was happy-yet pessimistic- about requesting a pair of shoes in a size 8 1/2. A week later, I received a package from her that I was sure would be some Reebok classics or flat Mary Jane's that were hot that year (don't front like you didn't wear them with crazy socks). Instead- I pulled out some high-heeled, double strapped, white, soft 'leather-like" sneakers that resembled Air Force Ones. My Uncle K had convinced me to wear them stating that "grandma was really excited about purchasing them for me" and i should wear them to appease her. I listened to my uncle and... well, i wish i hadn't.

I started my first day at Western, an all-girl high school with the most uppity bitches Baltimore had to offer, rocking my jean skirt, jean jacket, white shirt with silver lame roses on it and... them wack ass high heeled, no- name Rainbow sneakers and striped crazy socks. Not gonna lie- I thought I was the shit! You couldn't tell me I wasn't hot shit.

Well, you couldn't but the upper classmen of Western did. All day long I heard snickers and saw the looks as I pranced around the halls in my hoodrat sneakers. It wasn't until I went to the Quad- an outdoor lounge area where Poly and Western would eat lunch- during lunch time that I realized that the looks and snickers wasn't because they thought I was hot; it was because I had made a huge mistake wearing the damn shoes.

Some flamboyant knock-off Uncle K made a statement about my fashion faux-pas that wilted my inner flower. "Who is gonna tell her that she look a hot fucking mess with that wack ass shoes, yo? Damn, you can tell freshman!"The group laughed as I walked back into the building with my head held high stomping like I was Naomi Campbell in a high-end fashion show. I found the nearest girls bathroom and balled up in the first stall and cried to high heavens. I was so damn embarrassed. I went home and chucked them ugly ass shoes right in the trash.
Ever since then, I have despised all things high-heeled that shouldn't be- including, them high heeled Timberlands that Manolo Blahnik and Beyonce had everyone wearing and re-producing.
*sigh* I took me a long time to get over that traumatizing first day but I learned a very valuable lesson NEVER ASK MY GRANDMA TO BUY ME ANYTHING AGAIN!!


Epitome said...

I think the Jordans are cute, for somebody young. I wouldn't wear them but if I was in High School I would. In regards to what happened to you in high school...girl I woulda stomped so damn hard like I was on the runway that they would have had to respect my the end of the week somebody else would have had a pair. That's all fashion is anyway, somebody doing something out of the ordinary until it becomes ordinary. I woulda switched my ass all up and through the Quad not giving a fuck.

khaki said...

I bet you would have switched your lil self cuz you top model like that. Seriously, those shoes were so fucking ugly. Like, i didnt wanna wear them back then but did because of my uncle making me feel all bad.

Eury said...

yea those are a no-no. But maybe in a few years the craft will be perfected and they'll become wearable lol

* ! zodiac ! * said...

on this note i'll stick to my christian louboutins, im sorry but this is ugly to me

RoByn LaTice said...

lol, I hate those shoes. Hate them with a passion. Ugh! I hate all shoe high-heeled that shouldnt be as well. They are definelty the "hoodrat" of shoes![p.s- My GRANNY bouht me a pair too, when I was in middle, red and white..eww!]

Bianca S. said...

grrr i hate those high heeled sneakers, too!

khaki said...

@zodiac... i know you aint 16 with no C.L's???? get it!

linear chandelier said...

I love them!

Anonymous said...

*raises hand* OKAY....i was just sayin how I wanted a pair of the jordan high heels! Dayum it....*holds head in shame* I still like them!

Freckles said...

I am a stilleto queen but I am going to have to pass on these heeled tennis. Didnt we do this already in the 90's? I am going to leave this to the youngsters. lol.

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