Broke Ass, Aint Shit Niggas Need Not Apply: Qualified Pt.1

Elite and successful business in search of new associate for the highly beneficial full-time position of Head of Romantic Relations Division. As a team player of this organization, the associate will receive benefits that include, but not limited to, comprehensive sexual, physical and mental benefits. This is a full-time position with 24 hour attention required so applicants with outside employment (wife, girlfriend, jumpoff) will NOT be considered for hire.

Here at Khaki la'Docker Enterprises, we believe that if we expect a man's continued energy, support and commitment at work, we must provide the right environment for that to happen. We aim to make a relationship, within the organization, a fulfilling experience. We want our man to be positive and enthusiastic about this relationship, with a clear sense of purpose, and pride in their individual contribution to this company's success. We look for characteristics and values such as teamwork, integrity, vulnerability, strong communication skills , flexibility (we like to do naughty things), and most importantly- loyalty.

When I wrote- Now Hiring- some may have thought I was joking or not being as serious as I really was. In all actuality, I put a lot of thought into that ideology and I choose to go with that theory for the remainder of my life when choosing a mate.

For a long time, I didn't know what I wanted in a man besides the physical and materialistic things that could be offered to me. Now that I've encountered the "aint shit" men that this world has to offer, it is certainly clear to me what I want and what qualifies someone to be in my life.

Too many times women devalue themselves just to be in a relationship with someone that they know is not qualified for their company.( Lord knows that was the case with the last "man" I was with.) They have all of the benefits and success that would make them a sought after enterprise, yet they go looking through the slums of the city in search of these Burger King men that they believe they can train to make them qualified for the position. Be honest- how far do you think you can get with an uneducated mail room attendant when you're making 6 figures especially if all the man wants to do is sort mail? Let the fucker sort mail and stop trying to camouflage his "aint shitness" with a business suit and gators. Underneath all that silly putty you molded him in, it's still quite apparent that he ain't shit by his demeanor, lack of communication skills and actions. "Upgrade you" is a catchy yet non-realistic song- definitely not something you should choose as a life standard.

This isn't to knock men because there are a lot of AINT SHIT women out here looking for an Executive position but can't spell Executive. There's an abundance of women searching for Mr. Right but they aren't Mrs. Right. Leeches. Hoes. Gold-diggers. Whores... you know em. They walk around here complaining that there aren't any good men in the world and threaten to "go gay" or date a white man due to the lack of "good men" out here. Meanwhile, they are sitting in their mothers basement with their 3 kids with 4 (yeah, i know the math) different daddies waiting for a check to come.

One could assume that due to my age- 23-that I don't know what I want out of life or a man when in reality, I'm not a silly woman that needs to be 30 before I realize that I don't want one of those men I have to build or mold into what I want. I like my men put together already. I'm not Bob the damn Builder and I refuse to construct the perfect man just so he can get ahead of himself and jump ship for the next bitch to reap the benefits.

So- women and MEN evaluate yourselves and determine what you want out of your relationship, who you want to be in a relationship with and what you can offer to them.

I know what I want, what I have to offer and who I considered qualified... and all I have to say is Broke ass, Aint Shint niggas need not apply.