Thursday, November 19, 2009

Fuck Rihanna....

I've been very quiet about the Chris Brown & Rihanna ordeal for a few reasons but the main reason was because I wasnt in the car and was only hearing one side of the story- Chris Brown's.

It wasn't until Rihanna's 20/20 interview that I really came to my own opinion about the situation: this was not DOMESTIC ABUSE. This was a case of a young couple getting into an argument started by the "victim" that escalated into into a physical altercation. I have witnessed domestic abuse. I have done case studies and mock trials of domestic abuse cases so I see a difference between Ike Turner and Chris Brown.

Chris Brown did not BEAT Rihanna up. They fought each other and he got the best of her. Some would question whether or not it's wrong for a man to hit a woman regardless of who started it or who hit whom first. I would respond that its wrong for anybody in a relationship to put their hands on the other person. If this happened between two women in a relationship would one get be treated like the victim while the other is condemned like Chris Brown? If this happened between two men in a relationship, would anybody care? There's a difference you say? Ok, would a 5 ft 11 300 lb woman fighting her 5 foot 9 150 lb boyfriend be looked at as the same?

I, in no way, shape or form, agree with domestic abuse and I despise men that beat on their girlfriends, wives, or significant other just for the hell of it. No woman should live in fear that when they get home they may lose their life because dinner wasn't ready. No woman should wake up in fear that she may get punched by her significant other.

Fear is what distinguishes Rihanna from the real women that are abused by the men in their lives. Rihanna wasn't being controlled by Chris Brown and she wasn't fearful of him. Had she been afraid of this "monster", she wouldn't have even approached him about the woman that text him. Victims do not confront their abuser.

I've watched that interview a few times and I am disgusted by her. Each time I watch it, I want to slap her a little bit more. The white turtleneck sweater dress, the barely there makeup and colorless hair? That's not the "Disturbia" Rihanna that I know. Where's the barbwire over the titty, 1B haired, pointy red nails and leather bearing Rihanna that the paparazzi catches on a daily basis? Maybe she's hiding under an Umbrella. This whole time Chris Brown has come across as a monster, an abuser and as Ike Turner 2.0 while she's partying and playing the victim role.

Chris Brown was wrong but equally wrong as Rihanna. No one should have been touched in that car. Had the picture of her bruised face not been leaked out from TMZ, I'm sure that they would be happy and sappy in love right now. Rihanna wants to speak out for women that suffer abuse but how can she when she's never been abused? I refuse to allow a young woman that took advantage of the media to be a spokesperson for the millions of women that are abused on a daily basis. She is not a fair representation of the women that are abused, kicked, punched, dragged outside naked, slapped, spat on, burned, raped or living in fear. She is a woman that weighed her options- love or money. She is a woman that knew America would want to paint Chris Brown as an abuser and if she deviated from that plan she too would be chastised and her career would be over. She didn't speak up about domestic abuse to save America's youth; she spoke up because she had an album coming out and millions of dollars on the table that were threatened because she went back to her "abuser".

Everybody is throwing mud on Chris Brown's name and condemning this man who made a mistake. A mistake that could've been avoided had both of the parties been mature enough to handle their relationship. No one is stepping up and holding Rihanna accountable. Ya know- the Rihanna that said "would it matter if I hit him first?". That' s right- she's the victim.


Darell said...

Umm ok. You were not in the car, and no one has said anything about her hitting him, so why would you say that she definitely hit him?

Sorry but it makes you sound uneducated to jump to such conclusions. AND even if she DID hit him, does that mean he should f her up the way he did?

I swear black women are the worst.

Darell said...

PS, couldn't pass this up.

You said not ALL Baltimore girls are stupid...?

the irony!

khaki said...


but really why are you upset?

Darell said...

Because your opinion is dangerous, and scary since you are raising a man. We do not need more black people in jail because of such POV's.

sunshinestar110 said...

Ok so this random ass Darell was real mad about this situation at hand.....Sorry?

Where u not suppose to have an opinion about the situation? Because she a female you are suppose automatically sympathize with her?hhmmmm.....i think not!

I guess we are both stupid Khaki...Cuz i agree with everything u posted...going to hell...maybe? i care?...not so much

RoByn LaTice said...

Yea, I totally agree as well. Every word. And Darell sir---shit you act like she raising your child?! Her opinion isnt going to affect your life any--and to comment on her title...Ignorance at its finest. Ughh..dismissed! Khaki I'm glad someone wrote on this other than always letting Mrs. Rih Rih be the victim. Gosh!

Enigma Jones said...

I saw ur comment on Lady Dee's blog and had to come see what you wrote. I agree 100%.

Now @ Darrell- IF she DID hit him, then yes, she should have anticipated that he would react. So sorry that as another black woman also raising a man I don't succumb to the notion that men are superhuman beings that that have no reflexes. We are all humans who react. I have taught my son that boys don’t hit girls but that he has the right to defend himself from ANYONE. Sue me. As strong of a woman as I believe myself to be, I do not raise my hand to a man unless I am prepared for whatever his reaction is. I KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF. So, IF she DID hit him first, perhaps what followed was his automatic reaction. NONE of us know the ins and outs of their relationship so how can ANY of us paint either one of them as a villain. Yes we saw the pic of her face post-incident, but we didn’t see him. Who’s to say he was not as bruised and battered?

It’s unfortunate that you believe black woman are the worse and that our OPINIONS are somehow to blame for blacks being in jail. (huh?) So, thinking that everyone should just keep their hands to themselves is a dangerous thing that will lead to overpopulated jails. Ummm…Ok, Darrel you really thought that one thru…It is also unfortunate that you believe that those that veer away from the most popular way of thinking sound “uneducated”.

P.S. Couldn’t pass this up.

Funny how all of your comments were wasted just attacking the author’s intelligence and not adding anything constructive (or intelligent) to the discussion.

The irony!

*Great Blog Khaki*

Lady Dee said...

I don't necessarily agree with all your points. I understand what ur saying about no one should hit anyone in a relationship. But even if she did hit him first it doesn't give him the right to hit her back. And with such severity. No one have the right to hit anyone for that matter man or women. Yes people have reflexes but self-control should be exercised. And if your natural reaction is to go postal something is wrong. To say that fear distinguishes she grew up in an abusive home so she could have learned to hide her fear. Just because she doesn't look like the typical battered women doesn't mean she can't be one. Chris is getting flack cuz of pictures: her face and him on a jet ski laughing. I just think its interesting that the media is following her everywhere, commenting on her every move, and he is chilling. Some how it doesn't seem fair. What message does that send?

Frankie Nichelle said...

Add me to the stupid Baltimore chicks list too because I agree with you, Khaki, 100%!

Rihanna is a piss poor actress who did NOT convince me that she was abused.

Where's the barbwire over the titty, 1B haired, pointy red nails and leather bearing Rihanna that the paparazzi catches on a daily basis? Maybe she's hiding under an Umbrella.

*DEAD* please read my eulogy LMAOOOOO!!! YES! I swear her puppet masters were working over time to get her some sympathy from the public. How convenient that she's finally read to speak out just weeks before her latest album release. Give me a fucking break!

Man or woman, if you hit me, I'm gonna hit you back. If I hit you, I'm not gonna be shocked when you hit me back. point blank.

khaki said...

@ Lady Dee---- I thought she said she didnt grow up an an abusive household? I thought she said that Chris didnt hit her before but they've had pushing matches? Again, he shouldnt have hit her back or first but she shouldnt take adantage of America's sympathy merely because she had an album coming out. Do you really think chris Brown is chilling? knowing that his career may be over? having crazy fans cussing him out??? Did i see his coochie while he was coming out of a club drunk?

@FrankieNichelle- Of course i'll read yuor eulogy. I'll sing Good Times too. LMAO

SinfulLyo said...

i agree. violence is wrong regardless what sex the victim is. as for rihanna, it all seems fake to me and i think she's only doing this for record sales. why wait til now to come out with it? she says a, the police report says b...i feel bad for what happened to her but i'm not bashing chris because of it.

it amazes me how everyone wants to come to rihanna's rescue and bash chris. where the fuck were you people when robin givens was getting her shit lumped by tyson? or when biggie was slapping bitches around? or when big pun was pistol-whipping his wife?

@ darrell: for the most part black men aren't in jail for domestics. drug offenses are the problem along with murder which is still often drug related. the downfall of blacks begins with the lack of education so if you want to help go read a damn book to some :-P

Lady Dee said...

I don't think its for record sales or sympathy cuz quite a few aren't sympathetic to her at all. Just as you feel she's being fake I see it as someone trying to deal with a situation by acting out. Trying to make things look better than they r because of embarrassment. And honestly if someone was abusing u, u wouldn't try to hide it or make everyone think ur ok? I never said she was innocent but c'mon.

For Chris, there are consequences for actions and he's learning that. I'm saying he's chilling cuz he doesn't have the paparazzi following his every move and it be posted in magazine after magazine. I feel like people are minimizing wat he did in essence desensitizing ourselves. But it is what it is.

SinfulLyo said...

i see what ur saying lady dee about her attempt at "hiding it" through the interview but the timing is a little too coincidental for me.

hmm...let me do an interview with diane sawyer on 20/20 and have clips aired during good morning america on november has NOTHING to do with my album dropping novemeber 23rd :] c'mon! she knew what was up. she knew the media coverage and ratings related to her tell-all. album sales.

*and now i'm gracefully bowing out!

Enigma Jones said...

@Lady Dee- what is it that is making you say tha paps aren't following him around? I think they have been equally scrutinized and followed by the the medi. Albeit Chris was not captured on film as often as Rhi-Rhi those first few monsths but there were plenty of photos of him. It was like he couldn't smile without someone saying he wasn't remorseful enough. But I interpret that lack of coverage for CB initially on the fact that perhaps guilt/shame had him hiding out moreso than not, whereas Rhi-Rhi had to be out and about showing the world that she was not a victim and that the incident did not break her. IDK..but I do think the especially recently the photogs have done a damn good job of ensuring that neigher of those kids has any real privacy.

Kingsmomma said...

I agree with this 100 percent.
I am a mom of a baby boy and it really bothered me since the beginning of this ordeal how much of a double standard our laws and society have for men and women. not less than 2 months after The Chris Brown/Rihanna incident did Mary J Blige's daughter punch a man in teh face. NO ONE said anything about how wrong she was, in fact, everyone said he was wrong for bringing up the abortion issue. Double standard.
This incident also just highlighted that Domestic Violence is Ok as long as you don't abuse someone famous. People wanted to protest CB being at the BET awards but didn't Don Cornelius still have a pending case for abusing his wife? Didn't Oprah allow Mr. Winans on her show?

The police report stated she struck first and as a real woman she should have owned up to that fact.A victim she is not, she realized it would be less profitable to be with him at the moment.
and then she was Glamour's Woman of the year...for her stance on DV? what exactly was/is her stance. She has said nothing until the interview and done nothing in the way of awareness meanwhile, Halle Berry who has long been an avid supporter of DV causes was not even recognized?

As I said before I wholeheartedly agree with this post

Anonymous said...

I'm with you all the way girl. I hated that the picture of her face was leaked to the public. I know that was probably so embarrassing and hurtful for her. However, she really needs to stand up and say ‘I hit him before’. Hell, it’s no secret; it’s in the court papers. That shows responsibility, that’s what a real woman would do. A real woman wouldn’t sit back at try get sympathy record sales.

---layd ♥ said...

I agree with you 100%. From when everyone really started talking about how it went down and whatnot I just knew that Rihanna was fake about it.
Then again who wouldn't?
That's still crazy though. I now avoid all conversation and media related to the CB + Rih dispute because it's just pointless.
To me anyway.

Don said...

Some funny ish. And not a POV I've read or heard before not. But I can somewhat understand where you're coming from. Truth is - in this society, if a man hits a woman he will be nailed to the cross. Doesn't matter if the woman provoked the fight or not.

oh, and the title of the post is TOO funny.

Reggie said...

In my mind, violence against women; or even violence against men is completely unacceptable in a relationship.

zyaria said...

lmao, i agree. and now she think she gansta. how you gone be a victim one week and gansta the next? she must of thought she was "the badest bitch in heels" when she hit a man and expected him to just take it.

Epiphany said...

I totally agree with you. I knew she was playing the victim role when I first heard about it. I never saw the interview, and really didn't need to. But she obviously provoked the man to even lay a finger on him, whether she hit him or not, she started it. Not saying that she deserved it or anything, but Chris definitely should've calmed his nerves first and tried to talk it out. Some women these days always expect that the man should take everything and not act upon it. Women should really calm down with the accusations and cussing the men out, we should just hush it sometimes and let them explain.

Kiki Pierre' Editor-in-Chief said...

I agree 110% with you on this one. Now, I'm not one to condone domestic violence however, I was 20 at one point in my life and I had morethan enough "domestic altercations" with my past boy-toys that I know she probably instigated or threw some blows herself!

Ladies, I don't agree with no man hitting a woman,but ladies stop trying to fight these men like you got a dick between your legs. Call you uncle, cousin or something and let HIM deal with it. Or hit him where it hurts most, take his ass to court!!!!!

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