Friday, January 22, 2010

Confessional Monday on Friday

So... no bullshit... I keep saying Im going to blog and, to be quite honest, I really have meant to. I have shit on my mind but things just keep coming up. My homie/sister/co-worker was laid off of my job so I'm the only one in my office now and work has to be done... thus, causing the lack of blogs since I cant sit here and bullshit all day.

Anyway... here's a quick one.

I loved Michael Jackson as a kid. I wanted to dance like him... kinda looked like him (don't judge me), wanted to dress like him (continue the non-judging). MJ was the fucking King in my book. Anyway, one day me and my little brother was watching the old Moonwalker movie on VHS and I decided that I wanted to lean like dude in the Smooth Criminal video


So, I convince my little brother to safety pin his robe belt to my tank top and hold me while i leaned. We gather some safety pins and he takes his blue robe belt and attaches it to my tank top. The video is on... we're watching it... enjoying it... and waiting for the part.
Dance sequence comes on... I'm into it and he grabs the robe to help me lean and... wait for it... I'm leaning... wait for it... I'm leaning a little more... wait for it....

*Boom* I fall into the fucking coffee table and crack my damn head. My brother busts out in laughter while I'm rolling on the floor saying "that's not what was supposed to happen" and crying like a little Bi-Atch.
My mother came home and asked what happened and we both lied and said I fell off my bike. We weren't supposed to be in the living room watching Moonwalker and we had meddled in her sewing drawer which was off-limits so we had no choice. Whats even worse is that I had to walk around school with this big ass homemade bandage to cover up my bruised and gashed forehead.

Moral of the story: You aint Michael Jackson and gravity is real.

True shit.

P.S not all of my confessions revolve around me dancing or embarrassing myself... but a lot of them do. ;)


SinfulLyo said...

lol you make me thankful to be an only child. fyi: STOP NEGLECTING ME DAMN IT! or i'ma put a hit out on your ass with my next welfare check :]

Unbreakable said...

Lol lol lol dancing gone bad...

RoByn LaTice said...

Lmao...These childhood stories are hilarious!

pennanddpaper said...

lol that shit is too funny !
sorry to hear you cracked yo dome but damn girl.

*i looked up how they did that move. although MJ was and still is The Shit RIP, they made a special pair of shoes that attatched to the stage to allow leaning forward beyond the centre of gravity.

must admit it looked hella dope and i thought about trying it myself... but im accident prone and decided not to lol.

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