Friday, April 23, 2010

I guess I asked for it....

I received an anonymous email from a "Secret Admirer & Blogger" asking what was on my "list". Now, I usually don't just go around telling folks- especially men- what I look for in a man but because I pretty much tell the most personal shit on here anyway... well...

The List is broken down into 3 categories: The Musts, The Dealbreakers, and the Bonuses.

The Musts-
He MUST be intelligent- Ms. Khaki can not deal with any dumb guys... and there is no giving a second chance. Been there, done that
He MUST be a good listener
He MUST be respectful
He MUST be god-fearing. Now, this doesn't mean he has to be a preachers kid or go to church every Sunday but I couldn't marry an atheist
He MUST love children- I have a kid and he comes with the package.
He MUST be responsible
He MUST be able to make me laugh- I'm a goofball so... sense of humor is a definite.
He MUST be attracted to women... only --- You'd be surprised.
He MUST be supportive and attentive- I could never be with a man that didn't support me or that couldn't give me attention. I don't require a lot of attention but I do need to feel appreciated and special.
He MUST be single- no its complicated, about to get a divorce, only a little bit in a relationship. If you come with bitch, there will be nothing left for me to say to you
He MUST be honest and trustworthy
He MUST be STD free- Yup, so you know I have a phobia of star crunchy, frosted flaky, burnt rice-krispity labia so... not even the quiet STD's like HPV.
He MUST be clean- You'd think that a grown man would know how to wash his ass... ne'mind, that's another blog.
He MUST have a strong sexual appetite- :AHEM: no need to explain this one.
He MUST be attractive... to me- I don't have a "type". I've met guys that I didn't necessarily find attractive at first and then they just grew on me. Every guy I've dated has looked different but had one commonality- I was attracted to them and something about them just did it for me.
He MUST be ambitious and have goals

The Dealbreakers- You wont even get in the door ....
Drug Dealers, Car thieves etc- Sorry, but if he's killed someone or been in and out of jail, I do not want to deal with that type of drama
Several baby mamas- Again, too much drama.
Madden whores- If you'd rather play Halo than play with me, it will not work
Club hoppers- The having a boyfriend that wants to go to the club or bar every weekend- sometimes twice a weekend- is a no go.
Weed head and drunks- Occasional drinks do not bother me but getting drunk every day and smoking illegal substances are no-no's with me.
Abusive- I wish a mu-fugga would.
Unemployed- I'm not talking about the guy that worked for a company for 5 years and was laid off- I'm talking about the Mr. There-ain't-no-good-jobs-cause-the-white-man-wont-give-em-to me.

And the bonuses- Who doesn't love bonuses?
Great :ahem: - Now, I used to think this was a requirement until I met a dude that did magic tricks with his ahem.
Financially stable
Likes Good Times

Damn, my list was a little longer than what I expected... oh well. LOL


SinfulLyo said...

cereal-venereal disease comparisons were the end-all for me. i'm giggling too hard! i agree with not having a type, i'm the same way :]

Frankie said...

I agree with all of this and these men DO exist.

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

Lmao @ "great penis" being listed twice. I watched the Nightline clip about why Black women can't find men, and they make it seem as if the standards we have are out of this world. Some things may be unrealistic, but I don't see anything wrong with wanting a man with common sense and values.

Ashley Patrice said...

ps. I thought it was funny we both posted on relationships wants/needs at the same time, I was planning on doing a follow up post but received too many questions on the previous one :-/, but i do find your standards interesting, and see a little bit of mine mixed in there

Traci Lavette said...

Hey girl!

First..."thank you for stopping by!" Much appreciated.

Second..."are you twins??!!" girl, the list is on POINT! Loving kids. Check. Intelligent. Check. Magic stick. Check. Shit the whole damn list! I concur like MoFo.

And realistic too. Not to be deviated from AT ALL.

Love it! Now all we need is an application to go with it - for REAL though! Not LOL about that one.

NC17 said...

Don't bust on Halo. At 3am when I'm done hating children and stealing cars, Playstion is there for me.

No but seriously I have a question. Does Good Penis cancel out all the rest? I know chicks who are pretty steadfast, but after the homie beats it up, she'll be willing to deal with the fact that he hasn't held a job since the twin towers fell, as long as he keeps laying pipe.

Young Educated Black Male said...

Haha..where do I apply...Just kidding. But that's not a bad list at all.

stephanie said...

great list!

Kiaana08 said...

Oh wow. Get it girl. I don't blame you. Love your list because it is very similar to my own. Lol.

Really liking your blog. It appears to be as real as real can get. Lol. Maybe I should gain some pointers being that the name of my blog is "Real Talk." LOL. Well, when you have some time, please check it out. I welcome new subscribers/readers with open arms.

☆Reese said...

Yo list is the shit..

I need to come visit soon, we need an ULTA run!
(damnit I know it was off subject oh well!)

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