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Monday, May 3, 2010

Fuck you then Bitch! Part 1



As much as i despise cold weather, rain and snow- there's a small part of me that gets annoyed when the warm weather starts to break. I don't like to be hot and I don't like to sweat.The thought of top lip sweat and HotPockets (vagina sweat/oveheated vagina) makes my skin crawl. My eyes are punished whenever I see some ill proportioned woman rocking a tank top with princess written on it in glitter and a miniskirt. Dont get me started on the 2.00 Old Navy flip flops that get smashed in the back from the 300 whopper Jr strutting around in them 4 summers in a row. Ok, getting off topic....




In addition to the hygenic reasons and wardrobe fuckery, I've grown to hate the summer for another reason:


IGNANT NIGGAS.

No... not ignorant black men and women. IGNANT NIGGAS. The coons that put their cell phones in their kids names. The niggas that spend 100 to get their car detailed but live in the projects. The niggas that have pool parties in the front yard of their apartment. Them niggas!

*Disclaimer for white people:White people, feel free to laugh or even say it out loud. No, don't say it out loud but you can whisper it to yourself. This isn't a race thing because the white race has some ignant niggas on the roster as well. Furthermore, please note that I'm not saying nigga like Klan-man "i want you dead you nappy headed nigga/ nigga go back to Africa" nigga. Its a bad word, yes, but nonetheless applicable.


I don't know what it is about the heat that makes simple minded men even more simple. As i sit here eating my 3rd Butterscotch Snack Pack (wisdom tooth diet), I'm recounting my Saturday afternoon.


It was almost 90 degrees and I couldn't wait to put on my maxi dress and sandals. I had on my summer-proof face, hair was curled and moisturized and I felt better than I had the last few days. Now, not going to lie, i still had a semi-stroke mouth going on from the wisdom surgery BUT I was still fly. Shrek jaw and all...

I pull up to the gas station, realize i don't have my card and grab my cash to pay the attendant. About 15 feet from me were Ignant Nigga#1, IgnantNigga #2 and little Ignant Nigga #3... All wearing wife beaters, shorts, and some expensive sneaker that they sold a few pills for. I shook my head because I knew it was going to be some bullshit. Either they were going to ask me for money or ask me for ass. Never fails- niggas need money for crabs, snowballs and white tees when its hot and asking for ass is always in season. I did the "gotta-hurry-and pay" walk past them while they mumbled some "hey lightksin" shit and paid the attendant. Entry down- exit to go.


As I walked back to my car, one of them grabbed my arm. :insert oh, no you didn't face:

Ignant Nigga #1: Damn, shorty. Why you in a rush?
Me: I have somewhere to go. You mind letting go of my arm so I can get back to my car? :insert smile: *Gotta smile so you wont get shot in the face or robbed*

Ignant Nigga#2: You look good ma. You should give my mans your number so we can kick it with you?

Me: No, I'm good. Thank you though.

Ignant #3: You good? :laughs:

Ignant Nigga #1: So you not gonna give me your number?
and as I walk away...

Ignant Nigga#2: Fuck you then bitch! Bitches stay thinking they better than somebody.

The hell??!?!?!? No, why? No, really. Can someone please explain to me why all of that was necessary? Does the extreme heat and humidity cause an imbalance in the brain that would effect ones manners?
I pumped my gas with an attitude and went about my business. Unfortunately, that could have went another way and I wouldn't be here typing this blog right now.


And now for another THE MORE YOU KNOW!


Did you know that Ignant Niggas are shooting women because they refuse to give them their phone number? You ask... where they do that at? DC, apparently. (go ahead and click that).

to think... I still have 4 more months of this shit. Im sure Part 2-300 will come shortly.

16 comments:

Alovelydai said...

I love my city but in the time it took me to get from Hopkins (I'm an auntie again yeah) to Northeast Mrkt for a chicken box (can't get that where I'm at now) w/my son in hand I got accused of "trying to be cute" and having a "fake ass weave" (it's all mine)...btw aren't weaves by definition fake?? Anyway...yes I love my city (especially since I don't live there anymore) but damn ignant niggas make it real hard to stay long!

JStar said...

Oh soooooo true....I HATE this shi...Really...and because I am a white chic in a all black neighborhood I get "Hey, Snowflake or Sup Shawty" I mean come on now, they were exed out the second they started screamin stuff out...Yea, most of the white chics around me are ho's...I am NOT...So dont come at me like that...And yea, get mad when you dont wanna talk to them...I use the line that I am about to get married or something...This guy the other day tried to holla at me while I was in the car with my kids and the window was rolled up...at the gas station as well...Then after I told him that I am in a relationship he still tried to get my number and I told him that would be disrespectful and he was asking how...I told him if I am in a relationship that is leading towards marriage, then he FINALLY left me alone...After a few mins he gets out of his car and makes an obvious weed deal LMAO...well I hope it was only weed

Eyes on the prize said...

Gurl and people wonder why I cross the street when I see a pack of dudes standing in front of the store or gas station. I think this asking for numbers shyt is just for sport. Or maybe it is an innate behavior ... It's like they can't help it. But u can't win. If ur nice they keep hounding you, if you act like u don't wanna be bothered they curse u out. So WTF are we supposed to do? I guess act like we didn't hear the insult and keep it movin??? Sigh.

SinfulLyo said...

so...my summer trip to bmore is about to be called off lmao. DC is ridiculous! it doesn't help that it was southeast [my "ex's" home]. he always said it was a jungle out there.

as for YOUR situation, do what i do: i'm gay. fuck the bullshit. i done told so many niggas i'm a lesbian the city believes it, hell MY MAMA BELIEVES it. there's only so many responses they can come up with. *mean mug & walk away*

Epiphany said...

I can't stand it either. I seriously don't understand why does the 'Ignant nigga' species gotta get mad just because they get rejected. Like, really? That happened to me before. All I know is that I try to keep my ass inside at all times (of course unless I have to go to work or run some errands...).

And girl, that whole incident here in DC just went overboard. They're so used to getting their way, they don't know how to act when they get a 'No'.... It sickens me...

Kiaana08 said...

OMG, I can't believe they actually had the nerve to grab you and disrespect you. I would have told them they had 1 motherf*c*in second to let go of my arms or I would dial 911. And as soon as they did it, I would have dialed 911 anywayz cuz they had no right to put their hands on you, they don't even know you. Then the name calling was soooo out of line, yeah, good thing you put them on blast. Lame ass niggas, I tell you. I can't stand them. Ugh.

☆Reese said...

I always miss these moments..you KNOW you need me there when ignant shit like this happens! SMH. bastids..this would be the time you didn't have yo stun gun eh? what I tell you about leaving it at home?

E's said...

You say some of the funniest shit! LOL! Hotpockets! Damn! Hilarious! Stop going to those hood-ass gas stations. I know sometimes you just have to, but try not.

Ignant niggas kill in hot weather. The first warm days in Chicago, 45 ppl got shot. That's why I moved to whity-ville with a coffee shops, bars and restaurants all around. LOL

One of the funniest women on the Internet - get your stand-up act together:)

Imagine a hairy wolf Hotpocket...Ugh

Rock said...

You can't really get mad at a dude for trying to holla. You can, however, get mad for the following reasons...

1.) Disrespectful Approach:

No, saying things like "Damn ma, you thicker than some Nigerian Hair", or "with them lips I bet you could suck a watermelon through a silly straw" are not acceptible.


2.) Unkempt Ni**a Approach:

Who does he think he is that he can approach you looking a hot mess? Other people see that. It lowers your stock and or market value. This is the equivalent to putting project buildings (complee with pissy elevator shaft), in your residential, picket fenced-out nighborhood.

3.) Whackness

Just because a nigga lieks you doensnt mean you have to like him. LOL. Maybe he's just CORNY. Everybody knows that corny niggas dont get ass unless you are so corny that its actually funny and amusing. See Terence J or Nick Cannon.

-Peace Wifey.

RockaFlocka

Steph said...

I know exactly what you are talking about. When I see a bunch of young boys and it's hot and I am dress a little cute, I am like oh hell no. Let me try to run past here. It's so uncomfortable.

♥Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder♥ said...

i know all to well about those types you can tell them anything your gay, married, a christian it does not matter they still come with the dumbness!

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

Co-sign with this post and everyone that commented. It's extremely annoying that as a female, you can't even do something as simple as go to the gas station without being harassed. What you described was obviously harassment, but try telling that to anyone and they'll look at you like you're crazy.

*stacie-ann said...

lmaoooo. i needed to laugh. u r insane. n u right u got to flash that smile cuz the niggas will shoot yo ass about a phone number. lmaoo i love it

*stacie-ann said...

lol im still laughing.... i be sooooo scared that sometimes

jus so i dnt get shot i jus shoot 'em a number. fuk it. a wrong number too but if im really really scared they get my real #. lololol. im paranoid like that, told you.

Freckles said...

im notorious for giving my phone number so that they will call so that I can save their number in my phone for future reference. I have taken to giving out my email address too. They all think its kind of crazy. I am always amused.

Oh for confirmtaion: The heat brings something out errbody... The broads be the worst... Yes I mean broads but that is a totally different something.

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

Oh please don't come to Miami because I believe it's worse here! I've told dudes that I'm pregnant (early stages because the first thing they look for is a belly), I stay with my ex-con baby daddy, I'm on probation for robbery, stay in halfway house and can't have friends or phonecalls....(well sneak out so we can talk on the payphone) WHO THEE FCUK does that?! It's annoying as hell. You throw out any random ass excuse not to give them your number and they still try! I just walk around w/a mean mug so that I don't get bothered. Most times it works but for the rest of the knuckleheaded wack-tards, I can come with up with stories for days!

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