22... that's how many women saw this post title and decided to un-follow me or call me an ugly bitch. "No, not my man"... uh, yes, your man too :Eddie Murphy voice:
Now, for the rest of you that actually decided to read the rest of this post without judgment, this is my point- every guy that has ever told me that he wanted to cheat on his girlfriend with me all had one common complaint: "shorty isnt who she was in the beginning but I love her/we have children/she looks out for me". We arent talking about the men that cheat just because their dick gets hard and pussy is available... I'm talking about the genuine good guys that find themselves having to decide between "love and like". The "I love my girl but I dont like that bitch anymore" guys. Yeah, those guys do exist and I'll tell you why.
Women are probably the biggest deceivers known to mankind and we aren't always the most honest with men in the dating stages of a relationship. The mask of a confident, self assured, and selfless woman is usually used to conceal a self conscious, negative, controlling and selfish bitch. We'll pretend to be something that we aren't just to snag a man. Sad, i know, but that's true shit. The problem with the whole bait-n-switch tactic is that you cant live the rest of your life pretending to be sweet and classy Beyonce when you're really Sasha Fierce- a hoodrat draped in tacky ass Dereon . You aren't cool enough to have an alter ego and he's not buying your double disc of bullshit. He'll fall in love with you but he'll always cheat on you with the person that he really likes and that person you pretended to be.
Contrary to what you may believe or think, men know what they want and its NOT all about looks. I know a guy that left his 10 for a 6 ( i know 
, i know... the numbering system again but its the truth) because she ACTUALLY liked the same shit he did and was really a cool and down-to- earth girl. She didn't pretend to be something that she wasnt. She didnt pretend to like football just to get him BUT she showed interest in the things that he liked and guess what, Ms. 10's status still says SINGLE while ole 6's status says MARRIED. So, yes, you may be a dime but your man could still very well cheat on you with Pete the Cat.
My friends have gotten cheated on and always ask "why her over me?". I ask them "why not?". Yes, cheating is wrong but at what point do you accept responsibility for your actions and role in the failure of your relationship?
:pours liquor out for the 52 followers that just disappeared:
Hear me out! You pretend to be cool with your dude hustling and supporting him... but then bitch and moan when he acts like a hustler. BREAKING NEWS!!!! Hustlers don't go on dates and they don't care about "Why Did I Get Married?" They don't come home by midnight. When he cheats, because he will cheat, guess who he's going to cheat with? A bitch that will bag his weed, do time for him and sell her snatch to bail him out. A bitch that actually doesn't care if he runs the street all day. How can you fault him for finding someone that had the same common interests in him?
Why is it that the title "girlfriend" changes a woman so quickly? You no longer like to play video games, you suddenly hate everything rap related, you packed them stilettos up and traded them in for sweat socks and dead ass BK's and you don't really like to cook now, do you? Dating and relationships is just like buying a car and you know what? You're a lemon. A fucking 88 Ford Fiesta with shiny 12 inch spinners and a spoiler. He drove you off the lot and as soon as the warranty expired, your paint peeled and you broke down on the highway of love. How is that fair? Shit, if there were Coochfax reports for women that told a man that you had high miles with several accidents, stank ass interior and rusted exterior under all that MAC most of you would be in a junk yard somewhere waiting for hundreds of men to pick parts from you.
Moral of the story: Changing who you are to get a man will never work and there is no foolproof way to stop a man from cheating on you. However, you can lower the chance of you ending up sounding like a Fantasia song by just being who you are from the jump. Your man has to like you before he can love you. Loving you may make him stay but liking you will make him want to stay.
So there- I've just passed on one of the benefits of having a bunch of male friends to you. You've received some of the inside scoop to that million year old question "why her?" so don't call me a conceited, fat, ugly, stupid bitch because, well, I know I am but could still take your man and then write a blog about it.
:thumbs up, fist pumps and pelvis thrusts for all:
Now, let me ask the women readers this: Do you think that you change after entering a relationship?
Now, for the men: If you've ever cheated on your girlfriend and actually fell for the other woman, what was it about the other woman that made you fall for her? What was the reason why you cheated in the first place?
20 comments:
all i can say is thanks for the truth sweetheart...its much needed...lol....and funny! 88 ford fiesta...LMFAO!
yes! I've been dealing with this my damn self, because I noticed I use certain tactics to snag someone. Definitely loved the lemon part. glad you're back writing :)
Nope I don't bait n Switch, In fact I'm glad he cheats with the next trick, long as he isn't spending my money....
LOL no but seriously it's been too long for me to truly assess my behaviors in a relationship. I got cheated on b/c dude was a prick, I compromised wayyyy too much to do crap he liked and he still cheated so I KNOW it aint me. Dude just had an overactive penis.
Now while I agree with all of the above, men need to be men, shout this aint working and throw up the deuces b4 the cheating actually commences.
Besides thats the oldest trick in the book, be the one who he talks about his nagging spouse about--> then you become the nagging spouse. Ask mashonda.
i don't know if i have much insight.. being that i didn't date a whole lot before getting married..
but as far as the bait & switch, i didn't play a part in that. i believe that if you are genuine and happy with yourself, then a man will like and then eventually love you for that. a man should love/like you for being exactly who you were born to be. if he doesn't.. then on to the next one. :swizzy voice:
GIRL...I am sooo feeling you on this post....with its humor and all :) I have been here and done that...It tooks some years growing that gave me maturity....But some men do cheat just to cheat...men only do to you what you allow them to do...but it truly isnt fair to change or expect someone else to change
Hilarious! Especially that damn coochfax report. Some dudes on my Twitter timeline had a similar discussion in which they called it the HoeFax lol. I don't believe I change much once in a relationship. I don't retire the fuck me pumps, I still keep myself up. I'm still as competitive on the Wii as I was before a title got introduced. I'm still gon' talk plenty shit while agreeing to disagree. If I don't know how to cook a certain dish, he and I can learn together. Anyway, as much as my hairstyles switch, I can be 5 different women to him within the course of two months...lol. But that's just me. Same thing you did to get the person, you need to keep it up so that they'll stick around. Complacency is a sickness that I'm not trying to catch.
"A fucking 88 Ford Fiesta with shiny 12 inch spinners and a spoiler" amen to that shit! I once cheated and fell in LUST with this 18 year old because she was so fun to hang around, dumb as a brick, but i had no plans to take her around friends for debates, she was a pretty little thing who acted silly and didn't want anything but a good time. My girlfriend at the time was the type where you'd go out to dinner and she'd say all of two words.
LMAO... That's all I got. Let the church say Amen!!!
*passes collection plate* AMEN!! *does back flip* You hit that one right on the nose!
*sigh* but they will never learn. Being who you are will always work best in every situation. I can't pretend, I don't know how nor would I want to. It's just not for me. But I know plenty of chicks who do this. They HATE being single so they play whatever role the need to play to get the man. But like you said, he's gonna cheat on her ass. Oh well. Life is a lesson to be learned. I just hope folks are taking notes.
amen to Kingsmomma on the "mashonda" comment. my son's father was married when our child was conceived (don't judge me!) and all the complaining he did about her, i'm sure he does about me now. i keep telling that fool that he's just impossible to please. he chased me when he was married because i was young and without responsiblity, but now that we've got a child and share a household, i can't be the same little vixen he lusted after.
I love it!
"you aren't cool enough to have an alter ego. He is not buying your double disk of bullshit"
SO CLEVER!
Lmao! Love your writing. Ladies do need to take responsibility sometimes.
Absolutely Brilliant!
You have a new follower.
www.moetwithmedusa.com
Not Pete the Cat though??? Lmaooo
What you said about women switching up personalities is true...I've noticed it with friends of mine. They act like bitches when they're being "themselves," but as soon as a dude comes around that they like, they get all coy and flirty. Makes me wanna puke. I'm just a bitch no matter what, so there are no surprises. *shrugs*
I am so feeling most of what you said here. Dead on. You are too hilarious. lol
LOL! And men do it too! My husband had nice feet when I met him. Now they look like they belong to a dead person!
Wow! What an honest post. Sometimes people like to dance around the truth. But I love how you decided to face it head on. I really enjoyed this post and your approach to the topic.
I did blog post a short while ago that I entitled 'The REAL Definition of Cheating'. I would definitely like for you to read it and give me your perspective. I hope that time allows and that you will be willing to do that. I've very interested to get your point of view on the subject.
Great post & great blog. You definitely have a new fan.
Feel free to stop by and check out my blog as well. Thanks.
http://up4dsn.wordpress.com/
I show the absolute worst side of myself when I first meet a dude. I go out of my way to release my inner crazy so they'll know what they're getting into. Get used to the silk scarf at night, unshaven legs in the winter, etc.
@ Frankie...Wow does that work out? LOL.
Anyway Khaki,
Girl my eyes were glued to the screen on this one. I loved the Ford Fiesta comment and especially this one
'what point do you accept responsibility for your actions and role in the failure of your relationship? '
I ask my cousin that all the time about her divorce, and she still doesn't get that she was trying to smother that man despite him being an ass. You don't get a pass for your shyt because your partner shows their ass more than you do!
But this post was VERY profound and I learned something from it for sure. You never know when the "Clean Up Woman" might start coming around your man. The question is...what can anyone really do to prevent it if that's what he wants to do? Hmmmm.
Oh and this was probably the hottest post I've seen in a minute!
i ♥ you.
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