My Christmas List....

Folks keep asking me what I want and I keep telling them "I dont know". What's funny is that I told myself that anyone who told me they didnt knw what they wanted would get a t-shirt that said "I didnt know what I wanted for Christmas so I ended up with this shirt". Anyway... my Christmas list for any of you that want to show me how much you love with me with materialistic shit. You till got 2 days so get to it!

DVD's: someone either beat me for my DVD's or I lost them either way, I need some movies. I need all the House Party movies, Player's Club, Women of Brewster Place, What's Love Got to Do With It.... old school shit. Sparkle, 5 Heartbeats, the Wiz.

Flat Iron: need to keep the edges silky straight.

Mp3 player: I need a new one like ASAP. Not into Ipod and all that touch screen shit but i'd re-gift one of those cheapy free ones. LOL just being honest

Handbag: I love a nice handbag. Betsey Johnson and Michael Kors are probably my fav bag designers.

Makeup: I have a strong addiction to makeup... it's so sad but oh so damn true. Ulta or Sephora gift card would do

Big, reliable... uhm yeah: Preferably a Capricorn ;)

I dont know what else I want but Im sure that the more I shop for other folks, this list will grow.

So, what yall want? Im in the buying mood for the next 11minutes!

Cruel and Unusual Punishment...

The DC sniper was executed via lethal injection last night and I don't know how I feel about it. Although I wasn't a direct victim or family member of a victim, I indirectly experienced Mohammad's terror by fearing white cargo vans and wanting to stay in the house during my senior year of high school so I understand why people wanted to see him dead. However, I always thought that the death penalty was quite cruel and unusual punishment. I've had friends killed but never have I wished death upon the person that murdered them. I'd rather they sit in a prison and be rehabilitated to become better people.

I never understood how the government or 12 people in a jury could control and dictate who should live and who should die or what crimes were deemed punishable by death. As a country that believes in "one nation under God", how can the government choose who lives and who dies? I thought that was up to the Almighty One. There are people that rape children and eternally kill their mental being but do not get the punishment of a murderer.

Belovedone made a very valid point when she questioned when Scott Peterson's needle would be ready. I cant help but to think that race and financial status of the victims play a part in who gets the death penalty. If a poor black man kills another poor black man will he get the death penalty? Probably not. I've seen killers get off for "technicalities". Now let a poor black man kill a rich white woman- I can say that, more than likely, he will receive the death penalty depending on what racist ass state he's tried in.

My point in this matter is that I don't believe in the death penalty but I understand why a victim/family member wouldn't be opposed to it.

Pouring out a little liquor

My enthusiasm and desire to venture out to the clubs with my freakum dress, 4 inch heels and drink all types of over-priced mixed alcoholic concoctions are dead.


I was never the type of girl that got excited for Friday night just to go the club. While my friends and classmates were raiding the racks for cheap polyester outfits from Rainbow and Wet Seal to booty shake at the Kiddie Disco and The Tunnel, I was strapping up my field boots to do the typical movie, dinner, or arcade with my boyfriend. After having a friend get killed going to a club, i was convinced that I wouldn't end up as one of "those".

Baltimore is big on the clubscene. So big that Baltimore has a tradition that involves having Kiddie Discos on Easter where kids as young as 2, dressed up in the most expensive shit from CitiTrends, get their early lesson in soft porn dancing. Baltimorians have their own "club music" and I use that term loosely as i dont think repetitive statements, overly energized beats with someone yelling "K-Swift, if you dont mind, can we get freaky?" in auto-tune is music but eh... to each his own. For further explanation Youtube Baltimore club dancing. I'll wait.

Now that you have the "what the fuck was that?" face, we can move on....

On any given day, you are bound to encounter at least 30 different fliers with slutacious women posted to the local carry out windows or sitting on top of a Downtown Locker Room counter promising you the "hottest party in Baltimore" with the "hottest women that Baltimore" has to offer. First of all... the only thing hot about Baltimore clubs are the clubs itself. They don't believe in fans and I'm sure the 1000 people occupying the 600 square foot basement club is not only a fire hazard but the main reason why it smells like boiling bacon. Secondly, those chicks on the fliers are not fair representation of most of the women that frequent the Baltimore clubscene. I'm sure the producers of the flyers edited some bullet holes and teardrops off the face of those "models" or copied and pasted something from King Magazine (R.I.P King) . Trust me- there are a lot of offspring produced by crack-infused ovaries in Baltimore and... I'm just saying... I've never seen a cute crack baby. Sorry???


I digress...

It wasn't until my days in Delaware that I went to a club. It was exhilarating. Bright lights, loud music, liquor, grown men that whispered "fly shit" and I was just experiencing freedom that I didn't have back in Baltimore. Even the fact that I waited 25 minutes in the line just to get in for free was exciting to me. I made sure to spend my damn Pell grant refund and load up on some club friendly outfits. Those were the days *sigh*

After moving back to Baltimore, the club hopping died down but still lived in my soul. I was working full time and going to school full time all while paying my bills to my own apartment and brand new car. I was a responsible adult now and thought that I had not time to party anymore. In addition to my new found sense of responsibility, I had a relationship that I thought for sure would succumb if I continued to booty toot on some random individual. I hung up my plastic hot pink pumps (don't laugh, ya'll know they were hot) and fell back from the club scene.

Fast forward a few years and I decide that maybe I should get back into clubbing, grinding and two stepping. Da fuck was I thinking? At first it was cool. i was going to the club damn near every weekend- spending my hard earned 8:30 to 5:30 paycheck on a new outfit, shoes, hairdo, acrylic nails, fee to get in, parking, gas to drive to DC and drinks. Now that I'm typing this, I'm thinking "Damn, that sounds quite hoodrattish".

Anyway, the last time I went to the club was Halloween and while I'm standing there sipping on my 13.00 Ciroc and Lemonade AKA Devil's Semen, I come to the conclusion that I partied myself out. Yeah, I'm the girl that stands near the wall and texts or only grinds on my boo-boo Sunshinestar and with damn good reason- I DON'T BELONG THERE. I don't fit into any of the club categories...The drunk party girl- the drunk as a damn skunk girl screaming shit like "fuck niggas" and exposing titty just for attention only to not remember what the hell happened the night before. I'm not the Coat Check girl standing by myself, against a wall just because my friends don't want to spend 10.00 to have their belongings left at coat check. I've never been the Desperately Looking for Love chick with pre-written napkins with my phone number on it ready just in case Tyrone wanted to hook up later and NEVER have I been the Music Video girl desperately waiting for the opportunity for me to flaunt my dance skills and pre-made up routine to Single Ladies.

I'm the weirdo at the club and I see that now. I'm OK knowing that my club life has lived its term to the fullest. I've experienced all that clubbing has to offer. The good- posing like I'm Tyra Banks with smiling eyes an' shit for my Myspace gallery- and the bad- the drunken fights that I got tangled into.

So with all of that being said... Rest in Peace club life. It was a fun ride but I'm tired of mufuckas stepping on my shoes, getting charged ridiculous amounts of money to drink and dance, the bullshit D.J's advocating one night stands, the bad breath men that don't know how to take a hint, the under-dressed-overly-stank bitches spilling drinks on me, the 20.00 parking space, the guest list that closes at 10, the 40.00 celebrity sightings that never happen, the non-existent open bar from 9pm-10pm and fuckery that I force my eyes to endure every time. We've had our time and sadly it's time to put you and my club socks (I love SimoneDior) to rest.

*Cue 'It's so hard to say Goodbye'*

Opinions...

just like assholes- everybody got one.

I take this blogging shit kinda serious. I log on, jot whatever's on my mind, review, spellcheck, might post a pic then I "PUBLISH" and I'm relieved of whatever thought was residing in my mind for however long I held it in. Sometimes- you all (my lovely readers) will post a comment- usually in agreement sometimes just advice and, on rare occasions, I'll get some negative feedback. In any event, I appreciate all of your comments, suggestions, advice, feedback etc because, although your comments are not the sole reason why i do this, it's definitely motivation for me to express myself through blogging.

Now for why i said that...

I follow a lovely blogger- Stacie- and a few days ago she blogged about her smoking weed during her pregnancy. While i don't agree with recreational usage of drugs during pregnancy, I found her honesty honorable. I can admire someone who can recognize their faults and bad habits and reveal them to the world. That is what blogging is about. Not everyone can blog about the hottest trends, makeup and Beyonce. Some choose to talk about their lives and use the web as an online diary- like me.

So, after reading her post I felt it necessary to say how I felt about her posting on her habit. Again, i mentioned that I valued her honesty and was praying for her and her baby. Another poster, anonymously posted that she was a "dummy". *insert blank look here* Eh... that's comes with the territory of blogging. Now, I saw the "dummy" comment and I thought that if someone came to my page and called me a dummy, i would be highly upset and would probably go on a curse-filled rant. HOWEVER, with that being said, if i make a post acknowledging my ignorance or idiotic behavior, I will not fault someone for agreeing with me. Catch 22?

Well, Stacie didn't take that "dummy" comment too well and did what i probably would've done- a curse-filled rant complete with calling her readers "bitches" at the end of said rant. She's entitled to do that- shit, it's her blog and her anger, while a little over the top, was understandable.

but I guess I'm writing this post now to say this... don't take what people say so damn seriously. I put myself out there for the world to see. Most of the people that read my blog may not agree with my over usage of profanity, sleeping with a married man, and all the other sin-filled things I do in my life BUT what I write is a small percentage of who I am. At the end of the day, (i hate when Keyshia Cole and Frankie say that over & over again) I AM ME and THIS IS MY GA'DAMN BLOG. If I didn't want ya'll feedback, I'd block commenting. If you don't want to read it, there is a little X a the top right corner- feel free to use the mouse to click it. I'll wait.

For those that didn't click the X and are still here... I don't take offense to anything that ya'll say. I look at it as people being people and saying how they feel and I cant do anything but appreciate and accept that. I've read things that may have not been directed to me but may be my exact situation and I said "fuck it". I'm going to Rocko this shit here I call life and do me and I kindly advise you all out there that blog and read to do the same. You don't want people calling you dummies an' shit- block comments and don't request people to give you the "good and bad" or else folks will give you the good and bad. Getting yo blood pressure all high because of anonymous posters in virtual world is not what's up in '09 and it just shows that you agree with whatever it was that was said.

With that- I'm out like dykes and I dare somebody to come to my shit and call me a fucking dummy

P.S- I am aware that in very, very rare occasions there are people born without assholes. However, even they still have opinions. No Offense.

Hoe-loween?

Beyonce has "Sasha Fierce"... Mary J Blige has "Brooklyn" and I have Khaki La'Docker- A no-nonsense, ultra feminist, super pro black sometimes kinky, Angela Davis mixed with a little Josephine Baker version of me.

Sometimes Khaki La'Docker comes out during the weirdest times and comes up with the weirdest ideas like dressing up as Yoda to stand against all of the hoe activity that Halloween presents. Yeah, Khaki La'Docker is pro-female and extra liberal.

Talking with good ole fellow bunny, Sunshinestar, Khaki literally appeared outta nowhere with the bright idea to have all of her female friends take a stand against wearing skimpy skanky costumes this Halloween. Ya know how females do come the night that used to just mean wearing a clown costume and knocking on someones door saying "trick or treat, smell my feet". Women from near and far put on the skimpiest shit they can find and call themselves Models or rummage though piles of costumes at the local Halloween stores to find a Sexy "_____" (fill it in with anything from nun to police officer) costume.

So back to what I was saying... Khaki came up with this idea to have herself and the other bunnies dress as anything besides the typical hoe shit that women are used to. I believe a Transformer, Yoda, Freddy Kreuger, Jason, and Michael Myers were all suggested. I'm sure there were more but those are the ones that I remember *shrugs*. Of ocurse, Sunshinestar crazy ass respectfully declined to be the Transformer Bumblebee.

Anyway, I was only borderline serious with my stance against Hoe-loween but I do think some women take this shit too far using Halloween as an excuse to wear yo childbirth stomach out and call yoself a sexy Chef. <_<

So- I'm not sure what I'm going to be but if Khaki La'Docker shows her ugly face again I might end up as a damn robot or bottle of ketchup.

What 'chall gonna be?

Ciroc is The Devil's Semen

So- uhm i thought I was going to do a blog about the whole weekend with the girls but I'm not. Epitome is coming back next weekend so maybe then.

I will say give you the 5 tidbits

1. I have vowed to never drink again. Friday night's events are a complete blur because I decided to drink Jack... then chase that with 5 cups of Ciroc and something on an empty stomach. I remember throwing up and being repeatedly threatened by Sunshinestar to get slapped. Ciroc is the devils semen I don't want no parts of it anymore.

2. I don't know why "botany" was apart of my drunken rant but... like I said before- Ciroc is the devil's semen.

3. I will NEVER have the Agent pick me up while I'm drunk or hungover again. NEVER! I'd rather skateboard home.

4. Pepto Bismol does not work for hangovers and the tablets will give you a black tongue causing you to spazz the fuck out the next morning. No bullshit- read the warning label on the box. My tongue looked like moss was growing on it.

5. Sunshinestar and Epitome are the best folks ever!

I Know Im Not The Only One...

That's annoyed with all of these chicks walking around here calling themselves BOSS BITCHES and Vixens. Bitch, please. having a car and a studio doesnt make you a BOSS nothing. Beat IT!

That eats my hamburgers piece by piece. I open the burger, eat the meat, then the bun. (OK.. I probably am bit whatever).

That still gets hyped when I listen to Mase's first CD Harlem World

That's tired of liquid leggings.

That wants to go on a hunt for the bitch that cancelled The Game. It takes a cruel muthafucker to get rid of the one show that I skipped class to watch. Bastards!

5 Random Things That Annoy Me

When people say "Labtop" instead of Laptop

When people say "Supposably" instead of supposedly.

When girls wear polos under tee-shirts... that shit is just not cool and not stylish.

When my food touches on my plate

Going anywhere on 695

Nope, it's just you

I haven't had a period since August of 2007 and I will never again have a period. So, when I ignore you, look at you like you're stupid, seem like I'm cranky or don't want to be bothered, then, please understand, it has nothing to do with mother nature... i just don't feel like being bothered and/or I'm not feeling you at that moment in time.
Asking me "what, you on your period or something?", brings up painful memories for me and will automatically put you in the FuckitBucket for a minute.


Moral of The Story: Unless you want to feel like shit when i break down, cry and begin to tell you about my awful surgery that has taken away one of the things that differentiates me from being a man, then assume that you are the cause of my irritability and move the fuck on... Point- Blank- PERIOD

5 More Things That Annoy Me

People who wear too small clothes--- Damn, just dont buy the shit if they dont have your size

Smokers

Stale breath

Jealous exes

Babies in movie theaters- get a fuckin sitter or dont go!

5 more things I love

Burritos from Chipotle-- shredded beef with chicken... mmm mmm good

Dove pink soap

Hearing my son say "hi"

Beautiful smiles

Strawberry Lemonade

The Intro...

Another day- another blog. I started this blog because I sit at a frigging computer all day surfing the web and reading everyone's opinion about everything from what celebrity is fuggin who to the latest fashion trends. I have stuff to say. I know some shit! Why cant I speak my mind, write it down, and have strangers comment on what I think? Oh, but I can... and I am. LOL

So here I am, another blog on the big ole world wide web.

What can you expect? A lot of cussin, rambling, random topics, positivity, negativity and plenty of humor. Expect advice. Expect attitude. My goal is to do at least one post a day... but truth be told- im lazy and not very goal oriented so I dont see that happening.